Sunday, June 24, 2007
What's the stupidest thing YOU'VE ever done 'cause somebody broke your heart?
Hey Uberhooters! (OK, I just realized how that sounds—now we're going to get hits from people looking for porn...)
So, I thought I'd drop in and add to the conversation. Oh, I hear ya: "What's on your mind Sassy Glasses Girl?" you say. "Hmmmm???"
In short, break ups. That's right, kids: big, gnarly, heart-achy break ups.
I'm facing such a beastie at the moment. Oh, don't worry—it's not a "you'd better run 'cause I'm gonna boil water and throw it on you, you deceitful bastard" kind of break up or anything like that. This one isn't mean and nasty. It's more of a "Goddammit, I love you tenderly, but we just see the world too differently" kind of break up. In other words, a real kick in the heart.
So, in an attempt to anesthetize myself I have decided to sign up for a .... wait for it ... wait for it ... Softball Team. You know: Get out of the house. Meet new people. Get some exercise. Maybe even take a shower and change out of my PJs.
Now, I'm not gonna lie to you: I'm about as athletic as John Goodman with an iron lung. Sometimes, when I run, blood comes out my nose.
That said, the first game was today, and it actually went OK.
They told me to show up early, to pick my position. I panicked a little at this because I couldn't even name a position in softball. (Goalie? Quarterback? Democrat? Against it?) A nice man with a billed hat and a clipboard told me to stand in "the right outfield" and catch any balls that came my way, then throw them toward whatever destination (first base, second base, third base, home) my teammates happened to be screaming at the time. When someone throws a ball at ME, he said, if I happen to have a bat in my hand, swing it and see what happens. It's that easy.
And, it kinda was.
So, in spite of much trepidation (and praying to the Umpire in the Sky for a rainout over Woodinville), softball turned out to be one of the lesser embarrassing things I've done 'cause some guy has gone and done me wrong. (It certainly ranks behind getting drunk and calling the object of my grief, driving by his house late at night, and attempting to steal his cat).
Which brings us to the question: What's the craziest/most embarrassing/most inane thing you've done 'cause Cupid clocked you a suckerpunch?
I'm waiting... ¶ 6:17 PM
So, I thought I'd drop in and add to the conversation. Oh, I hear ya: "What's on your mind Sassy Glasses Girl?" you say. "Hmmmm???"
In short, break ups. That's right, kids: big, gnarly, heart-achy break ups.
I'm facing such a beastie at the moment. Oh, don't worry—it's not a "you'd better run 'cause I'm gonna boil water and throw it on you, you deceitful bastard" kind of break up or anything like that. This one isn't mean and nasty. It's more of a "Goddammit, I love you tenderly, but we just see the world too differently" kind of break up. In other words, a real kick in the heart.
So, in an attempt to anesthetize myself I have decided to sign up for a .... wait for it ... wait for it ... Softball Team. You know: Get out of the house. Meet new people. Get some exercise. Maybe even take a shower and change out of my PJs.
Now, I'm not gonna lie to you: I'm about as athletic as John Goodman with an iron lung. Sometimes, when I run, blood comes out my nose.
That said, the first game was today, and it actually went OK.
They told me to show up early, to pick my position. I panicked a little at this because I couldn't even name a position in softball. (Goalie? Quarterback? Democrat? Against it?) A nice man with a billed hat and a clipboard told me to stand in "the right outfield" and catch any balls that came my way, then throw them toward whatever destination (first base, second base, third base, home) my teammates happened to be screaming at the time. When someone throws a ball at ME, he said, if I happen to have a bat in my hand, swing it and see what happens. It's that easy.
And, it kinda was.
So, in spite of much trepidation (and praying to the Umpire in the Sky for a rainout over Woodinville), softball turned out to be one of the lesser embarrassing things I've done 'cause some guy has gone and done me wrong. (It certainly ranks behind getting drunk and calling the object of my grief, driving by his house late at night, and attempting to steal his cat).
Which brings us to the question: What's the craziest/most embarrassing/most inane thing you've done 'cause Cupid clocked you a suckerpunch?
I'm waiting... ¶ 6:17 PM
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Well you see, that was actually an *awesome* thing you did because somebody broke your heart. And, the games are in Woodinville? Tell me more.
The stupidest things I've done because someone broke my heart were actually stupid, and mostly included embarassingly long periods of Not Getting Over It while listening to the same TDK compilation tapes on a Walkman till my ears bled. I can promise I never did anything as functional as joining a softball team.
The stupidest things I've done because someone broke my heart were actually stupid, and mostly included embarassingly long periods of Not Getting Over It while listening to the same TDK compilation tapes on a Walkman till my ears bled. I can promise I never did anything as functional as joining a softball team.
That's a +1 on the late-night drive-by, but most of my drunken correspondence was of the written kind. No less embarrassing, maybe even more so becuase the evidence remains. However, I do trace my inability to even smell Rum now to a particularly insipid parting.
well, rather than being constructive (like joining a softball team), I had a bit of a destructive reaction to a break-up. I was in junior high (tiny-dog, plug your ears because you've heard this one a million times before) and I was "dating" my best friend since grade school. She was a tomboy and we spent a lot of time together since about second grade on, but as puperty set in, we started getting pressure from friends to go steady. We would be sitting on the bench at lunch and someone would come running up and take my arm and put it around her. In short, it was sort of akward for us (the "7 Minutes in Heaven" game at a party in which we were locked in a closet together was proably the pinnacle - though the kissing was nice and I noticed that I liked the way she smelled).
Anyway, after a series of these clumsy moments (I think there was even a dance in there somewhere), one day, she didn't come to hang out with me at lunch. A friend of hers stopped by to tell me that we weren't going steady anymore.
I was devastated. And suddenly I had lost my best friend in the process. That night I was home in my room feeling sad and angry for what had happened and, for some reason, I picked up a nickel and threw it at the window! I threw it very hard, but it missed... and hit my little black and white television, breaking the screen.
Good thing there wasn't a softball bat around :)
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Anyway, after a series of these clumsy moments (I think there was even a dance in there somewhere), one day, she didn't come to hang out with me at lunch. A friend of hers stopped by to tell me that we weren't going steady anymore.
I was devastated. And suddenly I had lost my best friend in the process. That night I was home in my room feeling sad and angry for what had happened and, for some reason, I picked up a nickel and threw it at the window! I threw it very hard, but it missed... and hit my little black and white television, breaking the screen.
Good thing there wasn't a softball bat around :)
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