Scooby Doo and the Loch Ness Monster
New Characters introduced for this movie:

• Shannon Blake, Daphne's scottish (female) cousin. Shannon could be Daphne's twin, right down to the love of purple, girly, and short dresses/skirts--although being Scottish, Shannon wears plaid grunge clothing(?). Shannon has orange-red hair just like Daphne's, but it's cut short like Maggie the Mechanic from early Love & Rockets.
  When this movie is over, Shannon and Velma are so going to move into Blake Castle together and turn it into a high-priced Bed & Breakfast.


• Dell Chillman, the chubby ponytailed Nessie-fanatic friend/annoyance of Shannon, who wears purple-lensed John Lennon glasses, a blue, orange, and purple tye-dyed Nessie shirt, army combat pants, Birkenstocks, and a Kabbalah bracelet. I'd bet you $50 he deals Ecstacy. Has no idea Shannon plays for the other team.

Excellent scenes:

• Scooby leaps out of the back of the Mystery Machine with a picnic basket containing a tablecloth, a napkin, a salt shaker, a pepper mill, a wine glass and his dog dish, all because Fred said "This fog is as thick as pea soup."
• While being chased by the Loch Ness Monster, Scooby thinks to hit the monster with a weight from the weight throw. Scooby swings the weight in a circle, but somehow the dog is so powerful that the spinning weight acts like a helicopter and lifts him (and Shaggy, after Shaggy grabs onto Scooby's paw) off the ground and into the clouds. When Scooby finally dies, (if he CAN die, that is) they have SO got to donate his body to science.
• When the grizzled old crosseyed dude shows Freddie, Daphne, and Velma a fishing boat and makes this comment:"She's nearly as old as meself and twice as leaky."
• When the Loch Ness monster chases Scooby and Shaggy, because (1) the blatant rip-offs from Jurassic Park are too many to count; (2) It is revealed that Scooby can drive stick. In reverse. On the left-hand side of the road; (3) When Scooby drives the Mystery Machine up a ramp and off a cliff, it flies through the air for at least a mile, making the same tikka-tikka-tikka sound as Jaime Sommers running on her bionic legs.
• Freddie just said, without any irony, "...and it will be da bomb diggety!"

Unanswered questions:

• How & why did they take the Mystery Machine to Scotland?
• When Scooby is hungry, his stomach growls and the growl sounds like the Xenomorph from the movie Aliens. Why hasn't someone taken him to either a vet or an exorcist?
• Freddie trashes vehicles like Hunter S. Thompson trashes hotel rooms. Why do these idiots keep lending him their boats and submarines?
• Does Iris need a Baby Alive for her next birthday?
• How does Freddie have a cell phone in 1970?
  How can Velma network her LAPTOP to the ship's computer?!!
  [Answer to the last two: This movie was created in 2004, so I guess it's 2004, not 1970.]
• Why are the Scooby Gang still teenagers dressed like it's 1970 if it's 2004?
• Freddie just said, without any irony, "...and it will be da bomb diggety!" Seriously, what year is this thing supposed to be taking place?

  ¶ 5:45 PM 2 Comments

  Uberhoot has flopped!
OK, so the time has come for me to admit that Uberhoot has flopped. It's unfocused, sporadic, and cobweb-like. Look, people. It was an experiment in joint authoring. It failed. If people don't blog, then people won't blog. This is the lesson I have learned.

What will become of Uberhoot? Answer: unknown.  ¶ 9:56 PM 2 Comments