My cat has a monkey on his back... (Do not give this cat money. He will only buy drugs.)



I've recently bought my cat an overpriced, cardboard, honeycombed scratching thingie with catnip (organic, at that—those goddamn hippies at the pet store!) embedded in it.

He is presently sprawled belly up on the living room floor, high as a kite and trying to EAT said scratching thingie.

I think he has a catnip problem. I'm just waiting to come home and find him playing Grateful Dead albums and smoking a bong.

It comes to this: My life, ruled by the pernicious will of an orange cat.  ¶ 9:47 PM