uberhoot
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
What I am giving my Dad for Christmas...
When I was growing up, my parents were not my friends. Most of the time, I guess I liked them okay, but sometimes, we didn't even have that. Our relationship was frequently punctuated with...things...
...like I wasn't allowed to go to the grocery store with my mother unless I promised not to whine or beg for treats. And if I promised, and then broke my promise, it would be months before I would be allowed to go again. And this was totally unfair.
...and I couldn't watch television until I finished my homework. This essentially meant I couldn't watch television during the week, only on weekends, because I had mass amounts of homework and 'finished' meant perfected, not just completed. And this was totally unfair too.
...and sometimes I was forced to go outside and play with the neighbor kids I didn't really like, or be nice to relatives I didn't really remember, or play quietly while my parents did what they wanted to do. See: unfair.
...and their things (especially my mother's shoes when our feet were the same size) were not my things-taking them without permission was stealing.
...and some things, like my Dad's BMW, I was never going to get permission to take or use.
NOTE: I only had permission to drive the BMW if (1) both of my parents needed to go to the hospital and were unconscious, bleeding, and on the verge of death (2) my sister, the police, and the fire department were totally unavailable and (3) I only drove straight to the hospital.
My dad would totally have asked a nurse to take him off of a ventilator long enough to ground me for driving the BMW to an unathorized location after delivering them to the hospital.
NOTE: This is probably still in effect.
...and my parents never gave a rat's butt what the other parents allowed their kids to do.
Now that I am grown up, I know that these 'things' are called discipline. Setting boundaries, setting limits, training a child in the way that she should go.
When it's done right, your child won't like it, and may not like you, until he or she grows up.
When it's done wrong, you won't like your child when he or she grows up.
And probably, neither will I. ¶ 11:44 AM 0 Comments
...like I wasn't allowed to go to the grocery store with my mother unless I promised not to whine or beg for treats. And if I promised, and then broke my promise, it would be months before I would be allowed to go again. And this was totally unfair.
...and I couldn't watch television until I finished my homework. This essentially meant I couldn't watch television during the week, only on weekends, because I had mass amounts of homework and 'finished' meant perfected, not just completed. And this was totally unfair too.
...and sometimes I was forced to go outside and play with the neighbor kids I didn't really like, or be nice to relatives I didn't really remember, or play quietly while my parents did what they wanted to do. See: unfair.
...and their things (especially my mother's shoes when our feet were the same size) were not my things-taking them without permission was stealing.
...and some things, like my Dad's BMW, I was never going to get permission to take or use.
NOTE: I only had permission to drive the BMW if (1) both of my parents needed to go to the hospital and were unconscious, bleeding, and on the verge of death (2) my sister, the police, and the fire department were totally unavailable and (3) I only drove straight to the hospital.
My dad would totally have asked a nurse to take him off of a ventilator long enough to ground me for driving the BMW to an unathorized location after delivering them to the hospital.
NOTE: This is probably still in effect.
...and my parents never gave a rat's butt what the other parents allowed their kids to do.
Now that I am grown up, I know that these 'things' are called discipline. Setting boundaries, setting limits, training a child in the way that she should go.
When it's done right, your child won't like it, and may not like you, until he or she grows up.
When it's done wrong, you won't like your child when he or she grows up.
And probably, neither will I. ¶ 11:44 AM 0 Comments
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
Uberhoot coup d'etat: The Poem
There will be a textual ramble...
because I will be rambling
in text
in a textual rambling manner, you see.
And all the
weird
dead-eyed
baby dolls
in the world
can clap their fabric hands
until they bleed
but I will ramble on
in text.
Blissful Christmas
Happy Hanukkah
Joyful Kwanzaa
Merry Ayyám-i-Há
Death
as well as the textual ramble
will come to us all. ¶ 4:49 PM 1 Comments
He said "Shut up..."
He said "Shut up - Oh God! Can't you ever keep it down?"
-A.Mann
There will be a textual ramble...
because I will be rambling
in text
in a textual rambling manner, you see.
And all the
weird
dead-eyed
baby dolls
in the world
can clap their fabric hands
until they bleed
but I will ramble on
in text.
Blissful Christmas
Happy Hanukkah
Joyful Kwanzaa
Merry Ayyám-i-Há
Death
as well as the textual ramble
will come to us all. ¶ 4:49 PM 1 Comments
Thursday, December 6, 2007
Red baby
Some people who live in my house wonder if I have a problem. A problem with making weird dolls. You see, I have made too many. And I keep making more. ¶ 10:07 PM 0 Comments
Some people who live in my house wonder if I have a problem. A problem with making weird dolls. You see, I have made too many. And I keep making more. ¶ 10:07 PM 0 Comments
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
Uberhoot is changing.
Textual rambles have retired due to universal lack of interest.
Uberhoot shall shortly return as an art gallery.
That is all. ¶ 4:54 PM 0 Comments
Uberhoot shall shortly return as an art gallery.
That is all. ¶ 4:54 PM 0 Comments
